All of us at one point in our lives or another have believed in something or someone. Maybe for you it was a friendship that you thought would last, or a relationship, or even a career opportunity. The fact is we all have believed. I think it’s safe to say that many of us who have experienced believing in something or someone have also experienced the pain of disappointment. You come to a place that you realize you are believing a fairy tale. You start seeing a person for who they really are or you begin to realize that what you thought was going to happen is not going to happen. You see the harsh reality that your belief in this thing is never going to manifest into a reality.
I have experienced what I call “the shattered dream” on more than one occasion in my life. From friendships, to jobs that I had, & business opportunities. The worst that I have dealt with are the relationships though. I am being very transparent when I tell you that it was very difficult for me to get over believing in a relationship so much that I sacrificed my entire being for it only to discover that it was never going to be what I pictured it to be. That disappointment has happened more than once in my life and each time it took a little more out of me until I decided I would never open myself to another human being to love them as a counterpart.
Not only have I experienced shattered belief in my social life but I have also experienced this in my spiritual life. I’m sure you can identify with being disappointed in relationships but it’s a different type of disappointment when you realize that a church member or a pastor is not what or who you thought he/she was. Many people can identify with the feeling of betrayal when you realize the church you have been wholeheartedly supporting financially as well as sacrificing your time & efforts turn out to be all for nothing. It takes something out of us. How can the place that is supposed to be the safe place be the very place that takes advantage of my good will? Dealing with disappointments can leave you like it left me. You don’t want to open up to anyone else because you don’t want to experience that hurt & pain ever again.
I came to God frustrated and hurt. I was angry & disgusted. I was respectful but honest with God. I’m thankful that God is not like people. God heard me & comforted me but then He taught me something that I didn’t want to face. He showed me that I couldn’t hold Him accountable for what people did. I couldn’t hold Him accountable for the choices that people on earth made. He taught me that I had to allow Him to show me who was good for my life & who wasn’t. Then He told me that if I wanted to move forward in my life I would have to learn to believe again. I responded to God immediately that I was NOT going to (lol Isn’t it amazing how God deals with us). He gently reminded me that He would not change His mind & that when I was ready to move forward He was going to be there for me. It took me while but I realized that living my life closed to myself & God was not what God had intended for me. He put multiple people on earth because we all need each other. I couldn’t move forward until I opened myself to people as well.
This blog is for those of you who have experienced hurt, pain, rejection, disappointments, betrayal, or worse feelings caused by people. You are going to have to learn to believe in the good of people again. It’s not going to happen overnight & God doesn’t expect you to just “get over it” & “be spiritual” as some church folk would have you to believe. I will tell you that it’s a process but it must be done. Yes It’s going to be hard & yes It’s going to be difficult but I will tell you that you will smile again. You will trust again. God has you reading this just so that you can know that He has done it for me & He can do it for you. Keep the lesson but release the feelings of resentment & retaliation. Disappointments have a way of teaching us things that we may have otherwise overlooked. It’s important that you take in the lesson so that you can make better decisions when you try it again. Don’t decide to close yourself to the great possibilities of a happy future because of a disappointing past. You have to learn to believe in the next person or the next new opportunity. Don’t allow yourself to be pulled in a negative direction because of the past. Learn & grow from your disappointments & move forward.
Today I want you to decide to develop a positive mindset. Develop the type of mindset that is able to experience anything and still see the potential good in it. Today begin to surround yourself with as much positivity as you can. Get around positive people, read positive books, & listen to positive music & encouragement (I post positive quotes every day for people like us on Instagram @_MinisterMarcus). Surrounding yourself with positive vibes is going to give your mind positive arsenal to fight negativity. This is one reason I read a scripture during the day because it gives my mind something positive to think about. There are positive influences all around us not limited to the Bible. In order to believe again you have to develop the kind of mindset that God can bring good out of any situation. Author and speaker John Maxwell teaches that one must “develop the mindset that the worst thing that can happen to me today may be the thing that leads to the best thing that happens to me today.” When you start to consider the positive possibilities, you open yourself to believe again! There are good people left in this world & there are many more great experiences to be had in your life. Not everybody is going to hurt or betray you. Somewhere there is a person, a church, job, opportunity, friend, or place that’s waiting to do right by you. You may have to go through the disappointments but don’t stop until you get to the fulfilments! #beblessed