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I remember the hurt and pain of heartbreak. The pain of being disappointed. The sadness of being lonely. I remember the 1st time my car got repossessed. I remember how broke I was financially trying to make sure that my children were able to eat as well as maintain a place to live. I remember thinking “why is life so hard?” I thought that life came together because you wanted it to. I thought that if you tried to be a good person that things would work out easily and life would be smooth. The harsh reality is, it just doesn’t happen that way. In response to how hard my life had become, I developed a disposition of anger & resentment. I was negative about the choices I made & negative about life. I felt like I should be as uncaring as everyone else. I was frustrated & angry with my life & my response to it was to numb my emotions with liquor & women.
One evening I was going through my evening routine of gin & got the urge to play my bass guitar. I got on my bass and started playing Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t she lovely along with my radio. Yes, I was jammin’ (I can play the bass guitar a little). But something different happened, I noticed my cheeks were wet. As I continued to play I noticed my shirt started getting more & more drops of water on it. What was happening to me? YEP, you guessed it I was crying. All of my emotions came out all at once and I was crying. Sitting right there on my bed in front of my television, with my radio blasting & tears were just falling. I had been telling myself that, my emotions about everything not going right in my life would go away but they didn’t. In this moment I realized that this ball of emotion had been in control of my actions and my attitude. It was like I had an epiphany & I realized that I hadn’t been myself. I allowed this ball of inner turmoil to make me easily frustrated & easily angered. It was that night at that moment that I decided this was not going to be my final chapter, but this was going to be my defining chapter. That night I decided to pick myself up off my bed & try to do better. I made an agreement with myself that I would never allow these unhealthy emotions to control my attitude nor my actions ever again. I decided that I was going to pick myself up, & pick my entire life up along with it!
It's not a coincidence you're reading this, I am writing this for people just like us! Stop letting your emotions force you to stay down in sadness & depression. If you are going to be successful you have to learn to pick yourself up! The truth of the matter is nobody is going to come to your rescue. Nobody can do it for you anyway, YOU have to do it for yourself. I got tired of being sad & tired of going through my cycle of sadness. I was tired of feeling anger & frustration. I decided that if I was going to cry I would cry while being as productive as I could be. Today as you read this I want you to know that I have had to cry more nights, I have had to battle depression, I have had to overcome obstacles and still overcoming some to this day, but my life changed that night when I decided that I was going to pick myself back up after life knocked me down. I realized that even though life can be hard I can still smile genuinely, I can laugh without regrets, & I can love more freely. I love the person I have become because of the things I have had to overcome. Today let me remind you that there is more down in you that you have not seen yet. The only way you will experience your happiness is by doing this one thing not just for me but for yourself, your family, & your children: PICK YOURSELF UP! Dust yourself off, & remind yourself that your journey is NOT over, but it’s just beginning. Keep believing in God & keep believing in yourself.
