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  • Rev. Reggie

Cleavage... The Marriage Kind

Cleavage (Let Go)

Cleavage... Yes Cleavage... Do I have your attention? Lol… Well we are not talking about that type of cleavage, we are focusing on the word "Cleave". The bible says in Matthew 19:5 (paraphrased), a husband and wife should leave their parents, and "Cleave" to each other to become one. ONE. Often times in marriage we are so committed to mom and dad, so committed to family, that we don't recognize that our marriage is suffering. Because we love and cherish our family, it’s easy to think that when our significant other mentions the subject, they are saying they have disdain for you or your family. Typically your spouse only expects you to uphold your commitment. Guess what? When you take those vows before God, your spouse becomes priority number one. No longer your mom or your dad, but your spouse. Is it easy? Some would say no. Mom and Dad have always been there. The first relationship you form from birth is the relationship with your parent(s). When you're in your mother's womb, you connect to her via an umbilical cord, and depend on her for your very existence so naturally it's hard. However, once you've made the decision to be an adult and take someone's hand in marriage you are telling God, your parents and your spouse that you are ready to connect spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally with your SPOUSE! You can't successfully cleave, if you are still holding on to the umbilical cord. You have to learn to LET GO! Ministry begins at home and if you are too concerned with where you used to be, you can't move forward from where you are, nor get to where you’re trying to go. If you are not ready to leave, then you’re not ready to cleave. Husbands how can you expect your wife to cater to you if you’re trying to make her your mother, and if she falls short, run back to your mother? Wives, how can you expect for your Husband to be the best provider or protector if you’re expecting him to do things the way your dad did it instead of the way he knows? We must understand that God creates us all with a unique set of gifts. We can’t expect our spouse to be like mom or dad. Whatever it is that made you fall in love enough to "Cleave" to your mate, take that and build from it. Don't try to turn them into your parent that's unfair and it sets unrealistic expectations in the relationship. Marriage is designed to be a constant learning process and each marriage has to find what makes "it" successful. What worked for your parents may not work for you. So as I close, love your parents, help them when you can, cherish them, thank them, you only get one set. However, at the end of the day, your responsibility, your ministry starts at home. Take care of home. That's the right kind of "Cleavage." Be Blessed…

-Rev Reggie

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