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If you were to ask a pastor or a church member why people don't go to church you would most likely get a wide range of reasons. However if you were to ask a person who doesn't go to church you would understand the real reason. I have heard many reasons why people don't go to church from church people. After actually talking to friends and friends of those who don't go to church it was clear that most church people were only speculating in their reasoning. People who don't go to church have substantial reasons to not go. Here I include the reasons that I believe were the best for conversation:
#3 No need for church -
Many of the people who I talk to don't go to church simply because they see no real need to go. The question that I am asked frequently is "Is going to church necessary? Can't I worship God without going through the whole church experience?" Many don't believe in organized religion. Because of this many people don't see the need for a "church experience."
My response
The significance of the church experience came alive inside of me when I realized the reason I enjoy playing in a band. I do the thing I love to do with people who love to do the same thing. It's grand to feel passionate about something and you see someone else share that enthusiasm. A band becomes a band when all the pieces play together. There are different instruments playing the same music to make one glorious sound. One musician is not a band. It takes more than one musician to create the complete sound. It is the same way with our worship. This could be the reason why the scripture says fail not to assemble ourselves. Your personal worship among a family of believers could be the missing piece that makes worship complete. You may not see the need for the church, but the church has a need for you.
#2 Too Busy for Church -
Another prevalent reason for people not attending church is their schedule. In this day and age things are moving along more rapidly than 20 to 30 years ago. There are more single parent homes, and the need to earn money outweighs the need to go to church. Many people expressed the idea that church didn't have anything to offer. To attend church would be a less significant choice as opposed to another option.
My response
The difficulty of this reasoning is the idea that one belongs higher or lower on one's list of priorities. I must point out that it is NOT God's intention to make quit our job. It becomes a matter of bringing both together so that one doesn't eclipse the other. It is our responsibility to create lives of balance and
harmony. What good is it to have a car with no engine, or to have an engine with no car? You need one to make the other useful. This is the understanding we must develop about work and church. To have God without a resource to handle our financial responsibility is out of balance just as it is to have a job without God. God gives our life purpose, our job gives our lives provision and we need both.
#1 Hypocritical behavior -
One of the main reasons I will include is the statement that many people who attend church do not make any significant life change outside of church. Church is two hours out of one day of the week. Beyond that time frame the people who go to church don't really live what they portray at church. Hypocritical behavior isn't just a reason people didn't go to church but it was one major reason why many stopped attending church. People don't want to waste time or effort being fake by going to church. (This argument I personally can understand and agree with to an extent.)
My response
I have personally discovered that most people don't have a problem with God, they have a problem with the people who are supposed to be portraying God. We as people who profess Christ must do a better job at showing Christ. One can't ignore that fact. My personal solution to this is not to write off going to church completely but simply re-direct your efforts and enthusiasm to new church. Church relationships are very much like interpersonal relationships. Just because one betrayed you doesn't mean they all will. I must point out that no church is perfect. There will be hypocrites at a lot of churches but don't let the activities of one person stop or change your direction. My conclusion is to stop looking at people and focus on God. People are always going to be imperfect. God never tells us to focus on a person but to focus on Him. When you do decide to go to church make sure your focus is God and not the people.
While I am a Christian leader I have found some of the arguments included here to be understandable. Some have turned the church experience into something that it wasn't intended to be which makes connecting to a church seem difficult. However my response to anyone about going to church is if you really want to go you will find a way, and if you don't want to go you'll find a reason. I encourage people to simply be honest with God and with themselves. If you don't want to go to church let that be the reason and stop trying to make up one. God respects honesty. At the conclusion of the matter it's your choice.